How You Carry the Weight — and How You Leave

🔥94K 20 questions · about 5 min · free instant result
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The Relationship Load & Exit Test measures five behavioral dimensions: how much mental load you carry, how you exit conflict, how long you tolerate an undefined relationship, whether you keep silent score, and who initiates repair. 20 questions based on what you actually did in the last 30 days — not how you see yourself — take about 5 minutes, and your free result combines a main label and a second label, like “The Default Planner who disappears when it gets real.”

Your load-and-exit profile is what you did, not who you think you are — who carried the mental load, who left the fight, who kept the score, and who moved first.

Your main label and second-label combo (like “The Default Planner who disappears when it gets real”), what the pattern looks like in real life, where it comes from, three counter-moves, and a share card made for Stories.

The $9.9 deep report goes further: A 2,000+ word Deep Report across four scenes — dating, living together, conflict, repair-or-exit — quoting your actual forced choices, with copy-paste scripts for each.

Before you start:

• 20 questions, about 5 minutes.

• Free: instant result, no account.

• Deep Report $9.9 one-time — no subscription.

• For laughs & self-reflection — not a diagnostic instrument.

• Written in-house — how we build tests →

What does the Relationship Load & Exit Test measure?

Five behavioral dimensions: mental load (who remembers and carries the invisible work), conflict withdrawal (what you do when it gets real), ambiguity tolerance (how long “undefined” stays survivable), fairness perception (whether you keep silent score), and repair initiation (who moves first after a fight).

How long does it take?

About 5 minutes. 20 questions — frequency items ask what actually happened in the last 30 days, forced-choice items make you pick between two real costs, and scenario items have no morally right answer. Your combined label appears instantly, free.

What do I get for free?

Your main label and second-label combo — like “The Default Planner who disappears when it gets real” — what the pattern looks like in daily life, where it comes from, three counter-moves, and a 9:16 share card. No signup needed. The $P report adds four scene-specific scripts; one-time payment, no subscription.

Why does it ask about the last 30 days?

Because behavior is easier to report honestly than self-image. “Who noticed the essentials were running out” has a factual answer; “are you the caring one?” doesn’t. Measuring what you did makes the pattern harder to flatter — and easier to change.

Before you start, or after

Same question, different depth. All of it links back to this test.

News · 2026-11-04Who remembers the birthday Nothing on the calendar. One person remembers. The other person does not know there was anything to remember. News · 2026-10-31Still not official Four months, three weekends away, one shared toothbrush — and still "we’re seeing where it goes". Blog · ExplainerWhy Am I the Only One Who Remembers Everything? (Mental Load, Explained) Mental load is the invisible work of noticing, remembering, and reminding. The three ways it gets distributed — and how to see which one you’re in. Blog · ExplainerWhy Do I Shut Down During Arguments? The Four Conflict Exits Shutting down during conflict is a nervous-system response, not a character flaw. The four exit patterns — and what yours costs. Blog · ExplainerHow Long Is Too Long in a Situationship? There’s no universal timeline — but there is a visible difference between mutual and one-sided ambiguity. Here’s how to tell. Blog · ExplainerWhy Do I Keep Score in My Relationship? Keeping score isn’t pettiness — it’s what happens when fairness feels uncertain and unspoken. The three fairness states. Blog · ExplainerWho Should Text First After a Fight? (The Honest Answer) There’s no rule about who texts first — what matters is whether repair happens at all, and whether it’s always the same person.

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